Monday, October 12, 2009

F.A.I.L.U.R.E - What Does It Mean?

Do you fit into any of this or do you fit into all? If you fit into all, then there is something to think about
F – Frustration, futility, hopelessness
A – Aggressiveness (misdirected)
I – Insecurity
L – Loneliness
U – Uncertainty
R – Resentment
E – Emptiness

Frustration is developed when certain things cannot be achieved or when things do not go the way you had wanted it to be. All of us at some point in life have suffered some form of frustrations but as we grow older, we learn that not all desires can be satisfied and that perfection is not the key to having a happy life. When life’s experiences bring about deep dissatisfaction and frustration, then we have to recognize this as a symptom of failure.

Aggressiveness, often misdirected, follows frustrations as a shadow follows you. To achieve and reach a certain goal, we need to be aggressive and assertive at times. Therefore, aggressiveness is not an abnormal behavior but rather a needed element for success. We need to go after the things we sought in an aggressive and assertive rather than in a defensive and passive manner. It is when our path to achieving our goal is blocked and you find no solution to getting out of that jam, that this aggressiveness takes on a turn to misdirected aggressiveness. This then becomes a destructive force. Many a home quarrel begins with the husband coming home and lashing out his misdirected aggressiveness on his wife and children. This is the second symptom of failure.

Insecurity stems from a feeling of inadequacy. Very often failures need to prove to themselves and to others their superiority. “He should be seen successful”. “He should be seen happy”. “He should be seen …..” Therefore, if you see someone behaving rudely or someone who tries to belittle others, this person may be undergoing the third symptom of failure.

Tell me if you have not been lonely before. This is another fallacy of being human. But it is the extreme feeling of loneliness where you become a social recluse and feel alienated from other people, that makes you fall into the fourth symptom of failure.

If no decision is made, nothing can go wrong! Many people fear of being proven wrong. Successful people make mistakes and admit them. It is the pathetic who is afraid to admit he has been wrong. If you do not make a mistake, you will never make a discovery. Thomas Edison tested 3,000 filaments before he came up with the light bulb. Uncertainty makes up the fifth symptom of failure.

Failures look for scapegoats. Failures resent success and happiness of others. He often blames society for all his shortcomings. Resentment is an attempt to make our failure palatable by explaining it in terms of unfair treatment, injustice. As long as you harbour resentment, this becomes the sixth symptom of failure

You have acquired all the wealth, all the external symbols of success but when you open the “treasure chest”, you find it all empty. You have lost the capacity to enjoy. Emptiness then becomes the seventh and final symptom of failure

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