Monday, November 22, 2010

Shhhh. ....... The child in me

When I was young, I used to sit in the backyard of our home. Beyond that backyard was a small guava plantation. I listened to the chirping sounds of birds, the humming of the crickets as the wind blew through the drapery of leaves, always munching on a guava plucked directly from a tree above. I spent many sad moments of lonesomeness as well as great times of pure joy in search of fairies and gnomes in that sanctuary. Little did I realise then that the search for these elementals and the belief in “Alice In Wonderland” will lead me to this path of mystic and magic.
I did not have many friends as I lived within a community where the British Navy set up homes. Lily was my only companion. During the weekends we played masak-masak in the morning, giggled through the afternoon, took evening walks in the evening and shared teen secrets in the din of the night. But the secret of fairies and gnomes and angels remained a secret. I would spend hours on end sitting by the longkang, when Lily had to do her 3 hourly daily chore of frying “chi-yau-char”, waiting for the fairies or garden gnomes to appear, often times peering into the holes in the garden and half expecting a gnome carrying a water can, as in “Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs”, to appear.

Our home was not near any ocean nor a mountain or a hill. There was nothing to escape the inevitable monotony of the routine buzzling and honking of cars, screeching tyes on the roads, the adverts of Coca-Cola, Milo, etc; cartoon shows of Flintstone, Popeye coming from the tube, always tuned up too loud.

I come from a family who enjoys music. Every other evening my mum would have sing-a-long sessions with me ….”Jack & Jill a riding, riding riding. Jack & Jill a riding. Humpty Dumpty Dish….” Please don’t ask me how this song goes. At that time it was our most well loved song but now it sounds a little incoherent to me. Every evening just before dinner, our home will be filled with melodious music, songs. I listened, appreciated the enchantment of the music. I immersed and absored myself to the sensations and vibrations of the sound. I allowed the melodies to drown out the sound of a car pulling out of the garage across the street, the honking of a car few doors away and even the rain pelting on the window sill. It was the most natural thing for me at that time. I did not know the big word “meditation”. I did not know music heals and I certainly did not know that Nature is my Teacher.

I have come this far. From a child who believed in angels, into the corporate world. A condition of constant anxiety – rush hour traffic, relationship baggage, job security, credit card debts ..People have no time to sit and listen to the wind. They no longer have the luxury of allowing things to unfold naturally. It is no longer possible to do one thing at a time. It’s all about multi-tasking. And the end result of all this is spiritual fragmentation.

That was some good 17 years ago. From the corporate world to being an energy worker. Today I stand at the crossroad and ask “WHAT NOW?”

I shall let the wind blow in my face. Let it circle around me as I live my day. But deep in my heart I know I have the power to choose the road I want to travel.

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